Damn It All, I Want A Refund!
by evilpinklollipop
Summary: Maybe she should have stayed dead? The afterlife most likely would have been more peaceful than the new life she now dealt with. And to be honest, she really was ten seconds away from mauling that stupid smile off of that idiot ninja's face. OC with a interesting twist of perspective.


**A/N:** Hello again! Oh my I've started a new collection of stories, and I'm super excited! This is awesome, and I really hope you like this as much as I do. I did try to keep this as original as I possibly could, and so far I don't think I've seen a story like it so.. hehehehe. This is gonna be fun!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing at all, nothing that has to do with Naruto! Nothing! It's really depressing actually!

**Summary:** Maybe she should have stayed dead? The afterlife most likely would have been more peaceful than the new life she now dealt with. And to be honest, she really was ten seconds away from mauling that stupid smile off of that ninja's face. OC with a interesting twist of perspective.

Chapter one. One foot in the grave.

* * *

"Thank you for saving me! I really owe you one-ton!"

Hana stared blankly at the small Shibu Inu puppy that sat happily across from where she was. She was sitting on her ass, surrounded by nothing but white, the void expanding on forever, and no matter where she looked there wasn't anyone else here other than her. Her hair disheveled and a clothes covered in grime, Hana frowned as she brought a trembling hand up to her shirt and squeezed some water out.

Why was she soaking wet?

And... did that dog just talk?

"Excuse me?" She squeaked, her throat suddenly very tight and dry. The puppy's tail waved quickly and happily, and it bounced its ears. Hana continued to stare as it tapped its feet in a little dance.

"Thank you thank you thank you! I really mean it too! It was really nice of you to save my life-ton!" The puppy with a bright red collar continued to speak, and Hana brought a shaky hand up to her face to rub her eyes.

"It would have ruined my day if you didn't come-ton! That was really brave of you to come and get me like that even though you slipped back in-ton!"

... okay. Don't panic. Panicking won't solve anything.

"You're a dog," Hana mumbled blankly. "and you're talking." She rubbed her eyes harder before blinking out the spot in her vision. Nope, it was still there.

The little red Shibu Inu cocked its head to the side with a cute puppy smile as she started to breathe a little heavier.

Okay then, plan two.

"Not real!" Hana squeaked as she shut her eyes tight, hiding her face in her hands. She curled into a ball with her knees in her chest.

"Hey-ton! That's not nice-ton!" The puppy huffed. "I'm just trying to keep up my part of the deal-ton! You save me, I save you!"

No no no no. No talking dogs no thank you.

"Not understanding! No comprehendo!" Hana hissed and stuck her fingers in her ears, squeezing her eyes tighter, "There is no talking dog. I'm not listening! Dog's don't speak and they most definitely don't exist in a white abyss! no no no." Like this was going to work either, but Hana continued to keep her eyes closed as the puppy huffed at her denial.

"Right-ton," The puppy growled cutely in annoyance and flicked an ear. "I forgot that humans don't like it when we show up like this-ton! Oops!"

"Why?" She hissed in exasperation. "Why why why why why?! Why are you still talking!" She flung herself to her feet and pointed harshly at the dog that just wouldn't' get the hint and disappear.

"Why can't you bark like a normal puppy? What are you!?" The puppy stared as it cocked its' head to the side.

"I'm a god." The puppy stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Hana twitched, a shiver going up her spine from her drenched clothes. "I beg your pardon?" She squeaked, her voice and confidence vanishing. Another shiver came on stronger as her clothes suddenly became heavier and colder.

"A god. I'm a god. Or a kami, or a Divine spirit. A higher being. A celestial creation. A-"

"I know what a god is!" She hissed and continued to point, "You're a dog!"

"Yep!" the puppy barked happily, "And I'm also a god! Hello-ton!"

Oh yea, like that made sense.

"A a- a- a-" Hana forgot how to breathe as her voice got stuck in her throat in a silent scream. A cold shiver went up her back and she wrapped her shaking arms around herself. Okay. Okay. This wasn't so bad, she had seen worse.

No she hadn't that was a damn lie.

Just breathe.

"You're a..." Hana took a deep breath through her nose and let it out slowly, bringing a shaky hand up to rub her forehead nervously. "a g- god. Right, right, okay." She nervously looked down at the small puppy. "Wh-what do you want then?"

"To repay my debt!" The puppy jumped in place and barked a few times in joy. "You saved me from drowning in that lake after I got thrown in! Too bad it ended with your lose because now I have to compensate you-ton!" It wagged its ears cutely and Hana had the sudden need to rub them.

"I never owed my life to a human before!"

"Sorry, I'm not following." She scrunched up her face as she tried to make sense of it. What was going on, why was her head so fuzzy?

"You saved me from drowning in the lake-ton. Remember?"

... Did she now? Well she did, kind of.

She rubbed the side of her head with a frown, the memories of earlier today clouded and unclear. What did happen?

She went to school today hadn't she, and then she was heading home on her bike and then...It started raining. The lake had started to overflow from the runoff. When she started to pass over the bridge, she had heard frantic crying and she saw a little patch of red bobbing dangerously out in the middle of the dark.

She jumped in without thinking first.

Because she was an animal person and it was a puppy. It was a puppy drowning and she dived right in. She had got to the scared little thing, grabbed onto it, started to swim back and...

and... and...

"What happened after that?" Her face was scrunched up in concentration and she looked back and forth between the puppy and the void. "I was swimming and then I... did I end up here?"

The puppy sighed before looking sheepishly at her, bringing a paw up to rub its muzzle. "Now don't freak out-ton. But you kind of..." The puppy looked to the side nervously, "You saved me, swam us both to the edge, fell back in because of the mud and because of the current and a loose tree branch.."

There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other. Hana bit her lip nervously and ran a hand through her soaking wet hair trying to get some tangles out.

"You died." Hana froze and stared, her face blank with shock and the puppy sighed softly before nodding.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"I died."

The puppy nodded again.

"I'm dead right now?"

Another, quicker nod.

Silence feel over the two of them again and Hana looked out into the white abyss. She felt hollow, her mind numbing over and her body started to shake.

"I- I-..."

What could she say? It's not everyday a talking dog, who was also a god, tells you that you're dead. Who dies in a lake saving a dog anyways? God, what a corny way to die.

In retrospect though?

Hana looked down at her soaking wet form, she thought she was taking this pretty well. She didn't have the sudden urge to throw herself to the ground and scream in denial like people did on television, and her eyes were surprisingly dry. Maybe this was what people called shock?

What was going to happen now?

"But don't worry!" The puppy chirped, bringing her out of her thoughts. "It's not permanent!"

That got her attention.

"It's not?" She said hopefully, leaning forward. The puppy smiled again as it began to wag its tail again, nodding quickly.

"Yep yep, you got it! I can bring you back to life again!" The puppy hesitated for a moment before sticking out its tongue, "Well, with a catch of course-ton."

Hana's eye twitched and she resisted the urge to strangle and kiss the damn thing. Isn't there always? Hana groaned before shaking her head, ridding her ears of water.

This wasn't the time to be stubborn or a picky chooser, If she really was dead, which it looked like it to her, then she needed to do whatever she needed to. It wasn't everyday a person dies and is giving the chance to come back.

"What do I have to do then?"

"Well..." The puppy stressed. "I can't put you back where I found you-ton, seeing how you don't have a body to go back to, um. Well I mean you do, but I don't think you would like being a zombie? Would you?"

The puppy scrunched up its face in concentration before nodding at her look. No, being a zombie was not okay, thank you.

"But! But I can put you somewhere new with a new body! It will be a fresh start and you won't be dead-ton!"

Hana nodded slowly, "Not being dead is really great." She bit her lip as the puppy did a little dance again, "But what does a new 'start' and 'body' mean? Am I being reincarnated?" She frowned and looked around in worry. Not that being alive again wouldn't be the most amazing thing ever, but would it really count as surviving death if the person she was afterwards wasn't 'her' anymore? Or was she just being picky?

Should she just take whatever chance she got and shut the hell up? Probably.

"No, not reincarnation. You'll still be the same soul with the same memories-ton." It puffed out it's chest with pride and barked, "Just a new world with a new body! I might not be the strongest god, but I still have Divine rights-ton!"

She slowly nodded at his explanation.

Wait?

Was it a girl puppy or a boy puppy? Did gods even have genders? Did that matter? Why was she even asking right now? She really needed to stay on track. Wow, shock sucked.

"Right. When do we get started? Do I have to do a little dance or something?"

"Nope-ton!" The smile that split the puppy's face was so bright, had this been any other situation Hana would have squealed at how adorable it was. "You just have to pick between three phrases to decide your fate-ton!"

She nodded again and rubbed her frozen hands together to get feeling that didn't sound too hard. It was just the most important choice she was ever going to make in her entire life. Or was it her after life now?

No pressure.

"Right." She steeled her nerves and took a deep breath. She could do this, she had to do this. "Wh-what are they?"

The puppy smiled, bringing a paw up to its nose."Okay-ton! Do you choose the Wolf that's hunts for loyalty, the Fox that tricks to teach, or the Crow that steals to protect?"

Hana stared at the happy dog, its' tail wagging even faster and her eye twitched dangerously.

"Mind explaining what they do?" The bright smile on the puppy's face didn't waver, if anything it became brighter.

"Nope!"

The puppy giggled, which was weird. She had never seen a dog do that.

No pressure at all. She shifted nervously in place, deciding to take her time. She had already made rash decisions today, and this wasn't the time to jump head first into things. She might not know what the hell those phrases meant, but just picking one and winging it was why she was dead with a talking dog in the first place.

Right, take your time.

The Wolf that hunts for loyalty? Well, she did owe the canines big time for bringing her back to life, so really she should pick that. But, it was kind of its fault she was dead in the first place. There was that. And she was just not having much luck when it came to dogs. Maybe she was a cat in her past life?

Then there was the Fox that tricks to teach. She did always love how cute their tails were, and they were part of her favorite Japanese culture, which she had been a fan of since she was a child. She always admired how cunning and quick they were in reality and in fairy tales.

Then finally the Crow that steals to protect? How romantic sounding. It sounded like a dark knight, someone who would steal and destroy to save others. A robin hood she presumed. That one just sounded stranger than the other two. Crows were seen as nuisance in most cultures, even going as far as being seen as messengers of death...

The puppy sat quietly wagging its tail back and forth as she took her time, the minutes passing in silence as she thought over each. It really was between the wolf and the fox.

"uh, I guess..." She bit her lip before nodding. She really did owe him... her... it, didn't she?

"The Wolf that hunts for loyalty will be the one I choose." The puppy smiled in a way that should be impossible, its face morphing slightly to look more humanoid. Its eyes grew rounder and larger, its face flatter and jaw line more pronounced. The voice that came from it was different, louder and less human.

"**Good choice Mamiya Hana**."

It brought up a paw that shifted into a human hand and tapped the charm on its collar.

There was a sharp pain behind her eyes that spread to the back of her neck, and before she could cry out in pain darkness descended.

There was the feeling of free falling and searing heat, and then Hana knew nothing else.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you go! Chapter one is finished and posted! Like I said before, I don't have a Beta so if there are problems I will fix them immediately when I noticed them. Other than that I hope you enjoyed the first glance into my newest story!

Please tell me what you think by clicking that really nice "Review" button at the bottom of the screen! See you next chapter!


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